Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." ( KJV 1611) This verse holds a very rich message that every parent must heed.
I am a mother of a little girl who just turned six three weeks ago. Through her years I felt guilty of my sudden reactions when she misbehaved. I admit that there were times when I was at the verge of my anger I would resort to my leather belt in my aim to stop her from misbehaving and instead obey my commands. To my surprise though, many times she never admitted lose. In retaliation, she would all the more wail, kick, roll on the floor and throw anything that her little hands could reach.
Several times I asked myself why tots today act the way they do. I have witnessed children dominating their moms in malls, buses, restaurants, churches and anywhere quarreling over something. This is opposite to who I was when I was young. If my father ordered me to do something in his favor, I hadn't hesitated but was always quick to finish the task. It was my duty or obligation to comply with orders at home even if it was against my will.
Partly, my attitude in having parented my daughter in her earlier years has been influenced by the way I was brought up so that I usually wanted her to instantly obey me. It was not always the case however. I had always ended up the commanded soldier and my daughter the commanding officer in the battlefield.
I am a mother of a little girl who just turned six three weeks ago. Through her years I felt guilty of my sudden reactions when she misbehaved. I admit that there were times when I was at the verge of my anger I would resort to my leather belt in my aim to stop her from misbehaving and instead obey my commands. To my surprise though, many times she never admitted lose. In retaliation, she would all the more wail, kick, roll on the floor and throw anything that her little hands could reach.
Several times I asked myself why tots today act the way they do. I have witnessed children dominating their moms in malls, buses, restaurants, churches and anywhere quarreling over something. This is opposite to who I was when I was young. If my father ordered me to do something in his favor, I hadn't hesitated but was always quick to finish the task. It was my duty or obligation to comply with orders at home even if it was against my will.
Partly, my attitude in having parented my daughter in her earlier years has been influenced by the way I was brought up so that I usually wanted her to instantly obey me. It was not always the case however. I had always ended up the commanded soldier and my daughter the commanding officer in the battlefield.
oOo
One bright and cool morning, I dropped by a fastfood for a late breakfast. While on queue for my food, my attention was directed to somewhat a commotion at the back corner. I saw a boy, probably between 4 to 5 years old, deeply sobbing in difficulty while his father already at the peak of spewing hot lava, was grasping his son's one arm while pointing at the boy's face commanding him to close his mouth, stop crying and sobbing. The other customers nearby and some of the crew of the fastfood were just watching. My blood boiled at the scene. I felt the boy's horrible pain of trying to stop sobbing and crying but cannot because of the continuous shouts, pushes and grasps of the father. To instantly stop sobbing at an instant command made the boy to cry even more.
I took my food then sat down at the other corner of the fastfood area. I still however, could hear the angry words of the father and the boy already in terrible, frightful cries.
My hunger was gone but I still took a few sips of my hot chocolate drink. Then I counted the number of minutes since the time I entered the fastfood, queued for my food until I sat down to eat and the number of minutes the incident started because it seemed getting worse.
Upset, I stood up and got near the scene again because I couldn't bear hearing the boy wailing in pain. The tables nearby were already vacated and the other man in red shirt (companion of the father and son sitting on the same table) just kept quiet but also looked troubled. I wondered why nobody tried to interfere neither the crew! I grumbled some stupid words in my anger and was really about to go near the father to talk to him. At the end however, I did nothing to help the boy.
When I went back to my seat I saw the father already shouting and pulling his wailing son out from the eating public. What a menace and a trauma this father did to his young boy!!!
While starting to nibble on my messed breakfast, my mind started to play back the events in my father's iron hands when I was young. I blotted them out immediately since if enumerated would just botch up my day. I didn't want to be a loser against the ghosts of my childhood.
I wondered how could such a fine-looking, professional-like, educated man do such wretchedness to his son in public!? And how many times did he do this both in public and at home? He would be raising an individual with a very low self-esteem! (forgive me for thinking such).
I recalled some do's and don'ts of parenting I heard in values education programs I attended years before ---- "never downgrade the little egos of toddlers in public places by scolding, slapping, pushing, kicking and/or shouting at them or even comparing them to other kids in the neighborhood." Was the father training his son? To what?
Going back to Proverbs 22:6, "Train a child in the way he should go..." To other parents, however, I wonder what the phrase mean to them. To train has several methods to anyone executing it. The subconscious mind immediately defines train-ing in a military way --- to undergo rough drills even if it is against the will of the trainee. This situation is however opposie to the method of training in loving communication. This way is what young children of this generation need - by spending quality time, talking and guiding them according to Biblical inspirations. It will train them to grow in love and not the opposite.
No matter what status a parent holds in life, he still remains a parent who is responsible with how he raises up his child to become a good citizen. This goes with the statement of Barack Obama, U.S. Senator, in an interview about coping with work and family in one of the segments of the Oprah Winfrey Show to "teach kids the values of becoming useful citizens and not just being cute."
One stupid truths in parenting is a situation like: The parent shields his child anywhere from anything or event he thinks unfavorable. One example is when the child is judged by his playmates because of some misbehaviours, the parent immediately comes in rescue and many times the parent does not even investigate the real incident. In school, when the same child is lightly punished like standing in class for 10 minutes while lessons go on, drives the parent into a mad lion against the teacher and the school. The parent feels his child is prejudiced! But once the parent himself gets irritated with his same child at home, he has the nerve to kick and slap until his kid gets blue and worse is even accompanied with shouts of filthy language! This situation impels me to think that some parents sometimes do become hypocrites of their own selves!
Usually, all the right methods of parenting are easily said than done!
As a parent, one of my deepest prayers today is to maintain self-control especially during times when I go home loaded with outside pressures so that I become an easy prey of an unstable behaviour. I do train my child as I train myself in more profound prayers by claiming verses in the Bible that could only pacify my spirit and stop me from misbehaving in the eyes of my daughter when she currently misbehaves.
I took my food then sat down at the other corner of the fastfood area. I still however, could hear the angry words of the father and the boy already in terrible, frightful cries.
My hunger was gone but I still took a few sips of my hot chocolate drink. Then I counted the number of minutes since the time I entered the fastfood, queued for my food until I sat down to eat and the number of minutes the incident started because it seemed getting worse.
Upset, I stood up and got near the scene again because I couldn't bear hearing the boy wailing in pain. The tables nearby were already vacated and the other man in red shirt (companion of the father and son sitting on the same table) just kept quiet but also looked troubled. I wondered why nobody tried to interfere neither the crew! I grumbled some stupid words in my anger and was really about to go near the father to talk to him. At the end however, I did nothing to help the boy.
When I went back to my seat I saw the father already shouting and pulling his wailing son out from the eating public. What a menace and a trauma this father did to his young boy!!!
While starting to nibble on my messed breakfast, my mind started to play back the events in my father's iron hands when I was young. I blotted them out immediately since if enumerated would just botch up my day. I didn't want to be a loser against the ghosts of my childhood.
I wondered how could such a fine-looking, professional-like, educated man do such wretchedness to his son in public!? And how many times did he do this both in public and at home? He would be raising an individual with a very low self-esteem! (forgive me for thinking such).
I recalled some do's and don'ts of parenting I heard in values education programs I attended years before ---- "never downgrade the little egos of toddlers in public places by scolding, slapping, pushing, kicking and/or shouting at them or even comparing them to other kids in the neighborhood." Was the father training his son? To what?
Going back to Proverbs 22:6, "Train a child in the way he should go..." To other parents, however, I wonder what the phrase mean to them. To train has several methods to anyone executing it. The subconscious mind immediately defines train-ing in a military way --- to undergo rough drills even if it is against the will of the trainee. This situation is however opposie to the method of training in loving communication. This way is what young children of this generation need - by spending quality time, talking and guiding them according to Biblical inspirations. It will train them to grow in love and not the opposite.
No matter what status a parent holds in life, he still remains a parent who is responsible with how he raises up his child to become a good citizen. This goes with the statement of Barack Obama, U.S. Senator, in an interview about coping with work and family in one of the segments of the Oprah Winfrey Show to "teach kids the values of becoming useful citizens and not just being cute."
oOo
One stupid truths in parenting is a situation like: The parent shields his child anywhere from anything or event he thinks unfavorable. One example is when the child is judged by his playmates because of some misbehaviours, the parent immediately comes in rescue and many times the parent does not even investigate the real incident. In school, when the same child is lightly punished like standing in class for 10 minutes while lessons go on, drives the parent into a mad lion against the teacher and the school. The parent feels his child is prejudiced! But once the parent himself gets irritated with his same child at home, he has the nerve to kick and slap until his kid gets blue and worse is even accompanied with shouts of filthy language! This situation impels me to think that some parents sometimes do become hypocrites of their own selves!
Usually, all the right methods of parenting are easily said than done!
As a parent, one of my deepest prayers today is to maintain self-control especially during times when I go home loaded with outside pressures so that I become an easy prey of an unstable behaviour. I do train my child as I train myself in more profound prayers by claiming verses in the Bible that could only pacify my spirit and stop me from misbehaving in the eyes of my daughter when she currently misbehaves.
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